I have always wanted to be a mom, and I especially couldn’t wait to be pregnant, but I can not lie and I have just not enjoyed this process as much as “I am supposed to”, or even thought I would. Is it just the Pandemic, to make me feel this way?
It took us 6 months to get pregnant after we got married in April 2019 last year, and as much as I wanted a honeymoon baby, while we were in Florida at Disneyworld, or on a cruise ship on our way to the Bahamas, it was just not our time to be parents yet. (but, it would have been so cool!) I know people say 6 months is nothing especially being on birth control for a long time, but I truly felt all the feels and was distraught each month to find out, I wasn’t pregnant.
In October, we found out that we “finally” we're pregnant, I went to do a formal pregnancy test at the doctors, and made an appt for an ultrasound the following week. My husband, Michael came with me, and as they put the cold goo on my belly and then put the high tech portable machine across my abdomen searching for a sign of life, I was so excited and happy, words can’t explain how long I’ve waited for this moment.
However, the doctor saw a sac (what the baby grows in) but nothing inside the sac. This is called a blighted ovum, also called an anembryonic pregnancy, which occurs when an early embryo never develops, stops developing, or is resorbed and leaves an empty gestational sac. The reason this occurs is often unknown, and our hearts were broken. That was on a Monday, and through that week in November, through many tears and sadness I endured many blood tests, we had another ultrasound on Friday. My doctor gave me the option of taking a pill to induce miscarriage, but he first wanted to check my pregnancy hormones, which would take a couple of days.
My pregnancy hormones were rising but slowly rising, and not double as they should have been, my doctor prepared me for the worst, that I would be enduring a miscarriage at anytime that week. I wept, I was so sad, I screamed, I was so mad at myself, what did I do wrong? What was wrong with me?
On that Friday, Michael and I went in together for the ultrasound, depending on what they saw, I would most likely be taken to the emergency room where they would give me a pill to help induce the miscarriage. However, as we waited for the tech to finish her ultrasound, she secretly showed us the screen to show us that there was actually a baby right there growing inside of me! We felt so very blessed, my doctor still to this day can not believe, how this little miracle of life came to be, but we take it with much grace and feel so blessed to be able to welcome our baby into the world any day now.
The first trimester was easy, I was so happy, glowing, and excited that I had a baby growing inside me! It of course was a secret until December, when we took a trip to Disneyland to make our announcement pictures, so we could share with the world that we had a little Mouseketeer on the way!
The second trimester was pretty easy too, I was getting a little more tired, but nothing that didn’t slow me down. Being a teacher in a classroom of 36 preschoolers, how could I slow down? We found out we were having a baby girl, By having just family over, on a quiet Thursday night, to pop a balloon exposing the pink confetti, we were so excited to be adding another princess into the house.
This whole pregnancy was going so well, I was happy, working out, and healthy, baby was healthy and growing, there is nothing more I had ever wanted! Then my second trimester came to an end as soon as the shelter in place and pandemic truly began in our lives, and this is when everything started to change.
Next week, read how the last trimester of pregnancy went for me during a pandemic.