Updated: Dec 12, 2020
"Hugs can do great amounts of good — especially for children." "When you are happy you can forgive a great deal."- Princess Diana
A hug... a simple gesture, one that is loved by many, and unloved by the same amount. What does a hug mean to you?
Does it help you feel better, feel love, feel trust, feel that you're not alone? Or does it make you feel small, suffocated, uncomfortable, even violated.
Hugs are described as "to squeeze (someone) tightly in one's arms, typically to express affection."
"Typically", it says... it doesn't mean that affection is felt by the one receiving the hug or giving a hug. However hugs are a universal way to show affection, to express a connection.
Is your hug, accepted in the way that you hope it is? Do you need the hug? Or do you recognize someone else who may need a hug?
You can ask the person and see how they react to you asking for a hug. There is also a difference in asking for a hug (sometimes meaning that YOU need the hug) or asking to give a hug (sometimes meaning that YOU think that the other person needs a hug). Working with children, you ask the child " Do you need a hug?" and 99 percent of the time that is exactly what a child needs or wants during a moment when they feel out of control, or sad. You also can ask the child "what do you need" This can prompt a child to answer with a "hug" or something else that would make the child feel better, or more comfortable. We can do the same with adults, asking what someone needs is a great way to try and help someone through a hard situation.
What about now, when in quarantine and self distancing from others? How do we connect now, that we cannot hug, or high five someone whom we car about?
Hugs are something that I do as a way to connect with others, whether it is me that needs the hug, or if I believe that someone else would feel better because of the hug I give them. ( connecting emotionally through the hug) When I embrace someone in a hug, I try and take all their sorrow away with my touch. I know it is silly to think about, but it makes me feel when "I'm sorry" or words can only go so far, that possibly a hug will connect to their heart in a way that will help them feel comfort.
During this time, it is hard not to hug others, it is probably the hardest part of our quarantine and self distancing measures. I am connecting through words, and facetime, texts, and phone calls. I am using different outlets to connect with the people I care about and in a way, I do feel closer to them, more connected with people that I have not connected with in awhile.
I feel through my hugs, and I know not everyone feels this way, and that is okay, I will respect your space, and find another way to connect with you. If you see me, after all this is over remember, I am a hugger, so don't hesitate to ask for a hug. Hugs are a way for me to connect and feel that I am loved, cared for, and am not alone. How do hugs make you feel?