38 weeks pregnant and still in the middle of a pandemic. "Things will be better by July, people would say", "do not worry", "it will be hot and summer, so everything will be back to normal." This is what we heard over and over again as we worried about being parents for the first time, especially during this time. Here we are a week and a half away from our due date, and nothing is back to normal. The preschool I work at is not opened completely, we must wear masks in public and social distancing is just the normal. This is not how we envisioned bringing our little one into the world.
I am a person that has a hard time living in the moment, I am always planning, thinking of the future and worrying about how my choices will affect tomorrow. What I have learned through this experience is to slow down and find the little things in each moment that you may take for granted. However, as I struggle with this last part of pregnancy, physically and mentally, I feel alone at times. Of course, my husband is here, and my puppies, I do have amazing friends who check in on me and family, but I still feel sad and lonely. I am missing something. I’m missing hugs, and face to face talks, I’m missing outings to the movie theater and restaurants, I’m missing outings to nearby parks, shopping, and BBQs. I am still missing my classroom.
I know being so close to my due date, I need to be thinking of the baby and keeping her safe, and I want to, and will of course! But I am missing my passion and purpose by not being a part of society. I truly miss my classroom, I miss my preschoolers, I miss my freedom of spreading my passion and purpose with others. This is the strangest transition I have ever and probably will ever go through.
I’m so blessed to have my husband, he is so supportive, kind, and understanding. We both are so nervous and anxious about labor, and delivery, we both might pass out! I know this will be the best day of our life, following our gorgeous wedding last year, but the worries keep slipping into my mind. This is our story, a part of our chapter, and I am just so happy to do it along the side of my husband. Each day I become stronger, and each day we are closer to meeting our baby girl.
If I have learned anything, it is to take time to smell the flowers, listen to birds, watch the clouds, and follow your heart. There is love in everything and even though this pandemic I can find blessings around each corner.
